Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
