i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
