your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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