You can't motorboat a personality
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
