Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
