shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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