did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
