U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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