I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize