Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
So here I am, sexting at work.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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