and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
