Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
