So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
