I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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