she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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