I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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