Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
