White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
