Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You're a waste of cheezeits
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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