naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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