"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
