Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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