Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
