p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
