He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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