You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize