your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
