he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
