Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
