remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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