Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
