If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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