Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
