Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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