She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
