i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
