Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
