Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
