I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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