Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
