Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
