I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
So apparently I’m into choking now
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