so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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