I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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