I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
