Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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