East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
