i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
my shit smells like andre
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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