I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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