I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So much Jack, so little girl.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize