i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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