There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
