i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
