Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
