Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
